So I really screwed up this time. I messed everything up with him, but he also screwed up too. So it’s not all my fault, maybe my fault more than his, but you would have done the same thing if it happened to you. I started listening to Tech N9ne, because it’s one of his favorite rappers. I’m addicted to their Dysfunctional song. Because it’s true, “I’m a little dysfunctional, don’t you know? If you push me, It might be bad. Get a little emotional, Don’t you know? You could fool around and make me mad. I’m a little dysfunctional, Don’t you know? If you push me, It might be bad. Get a little emotional, Don’t you know? Might fool around and make me mad. Don’t make me mad.” Which is completely true, I don’t know how to deal with my anger when I do get mad, and I do get a little emotional at times, and it sucks. I just didn’t know that when it came to love, that you had to fight to get the upper hand. I can’ remember what lyrics that was from, I think its from Taylor Swift or something around hose lines. But I can’t this boy off my mind, and last night I had a dream about him. We accidently ran into each other and we just went at it, yelling and screaming at each other about we screwed each other over, and I started crying and so did he, and eventually we did make up and at the end of the dream we were together again, but I woke up because I knew better that this would never happen. And then reality hits me, and I just start sobbing, like someone just died or as if I was dying. Because he will never know how quickly he went from being someone I might be into to someone who was very important to me. I know this is pathetic, but I am a hopeless romantic and I can’t get his blue eyes out of my mind, I can’t remember what he sounded like when he talked because we haven’t seen each other in  months. And the sound of his voice was so comforting to me. And I just wished he knew that how much he affected me and how much it bothers me that he could leave me so effortlessly. I know it’s pathetic because we were unofficially together for a month and a half, and officially together for two days before he called it off. But those first two weeks was hooked me too him like some type of drug that lingers in your system months after you’ve tried it. And you can’t get the same high with something else, or another boy in my case, but you get pretty close but it’s not the same. Well that’s how I feel and he hasn’t talked to me in weeks and honestly its bringing me down, and I just wish he knew how much he means to me.